Confessions of a Crazy MJ Fan
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“The Strength of One Man (or, Why I’m SICK of People Pitying Michael Jackson)"
“When you are behind bars with no hope of release,
you need to find strength wherever you can…
Personally, I found strength in Michael Jackson.”
Nelson Mandela
Social media has allowed me to connect with a large variety of fellow MJ fans. For the most part, this has been a surprisingly positive thing. I have “met” some of the most beautiful souls on the planet, learned about different cultures, and even made some true, real-life friends. But, like most things, my experience with being a die-hard MichaelManiac in the world of social media has its downside as well. Most of the sucky parts are the result of insensitive, derogatory, and misinformed commentary from people who STILL can’t let go of their criticism and suspicion of MJ, no matter what the evidence suggests. Like most MJ fans, I find myself going into full defense-mode whenever I see people making these rude remarks. What annoys me most is when the comments appear on a post that was intended to honor him or commemorate one of his many achievements. I have recently gotten into the habit of ignoring the comment section altogether although I must admit I sometimes scan them, looking for anyone who dares to “go there” while this MJ Lover is online. (I will go ALL CAPS on somebody in a minute!)
But more than this, there is one other negative I have encountered more times than I can count. I want to vent about it if I can. This pet peeve is different than the nasty, snarky commentary from non-fans, though. Because this downside comes from the most unlikely source…. My fellow MJ fans.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love us, MJ Family, I really do. But, too many of us have subscribed to the belief that our beloved MJ was a victim and I am personally tired of it. Before I become misunderstood, let me clarify: I know that Michael Jackson suffered a great deal during his 5 decades on Earth. I am well-educated on his upbringing, his self image issues, his lack of a private life, the rumors, the lies, and the allegations that threatened to ruin his legacy. These things do not, however, give me a desire to comment on every single picture I see of him with things like “Oh, he looks so lonely here… Poor Mikey,” or, “It’s so sad he couldn’t learn to love himself.” I see these and other pity-based comments far more than I am comfortable with on MJ pages, and it annoys me. Not because I think fans mean any harm. I know they don’t. I believe that the people who say these things feel genuine sadness and empathy for MJ and for the hardships we all know he endured during his lifetime. I know that their hearts bleed for him because mine does too, even today, 5 years after his pain ended.
So, why do I get so bothered by all of the “Poor MJ” and “He was so mistreated” posts? Well, it is because I honestly believe that when we over exaggerate the bad parts of his life, we end up neglecting the victory that underlies Michael Jackson’s whole story. This is not fair and I don’t think he or any other self-respecting person would want to be seen as a victim when they worked so hard for each and every one of their victories. Yes, Michael was sensitive, but he was also tough. Yes, he was hurt, but he took his pain and made art with it. He bought the freakin’ Beatles’ catalog, for God’s sake… and he knew what he was doing when he did it. He was aBOSS, plain and simple, yet I still see a large portion of this man’s fan base treating his memory like a Greek tragedy. Didn’t anyone pay attention to his album titles? He was “Bad”, he was “Invincible”, and his story is one of pure “Triumph”!
Again, Family, this is not meant to make anyone feel bad and it most certainly isn’t intended to question any fan’s love of MJ. I know we all interpret things differently and we express ourselves differently, too. Still, I think it is very important that we all as a community try to remember MJ as the winner he was (and still is). It is important for his children and it is important for his legacy. Michael Jackson worked too damn hard, from the time he was a 5-year-old until the day he died, to overcome huge obstacles and defy labels society placed upon him as a Black man. He refused to be pigeon-holed. Michael was BAD ASS. He wore whatever he wanted. He did things no one believed he could do. He managed to orchestrate an image that allowed him to be an untouchable sex-symbol and boy-next-door. Then, in his later years, he managed to make the whole world believe in magic. He never changed his direction or hid his reality from anyone. He was vulnerable enough to cry over the suffering of innocent children, and strong enough to stand by his commitment to them, even after being falsely accused of hurting them. He may very well have been a prisoner in his fame, but he was free in his truth.
“And the more you hit something hard,
the more hardened it becomes—the stronger it becomes.
And that’s what’s happened:
I’m resilient. I have rhinoceros skin.
Nothing can hurt me. Nothing.”
~ Michael Jackson, 2003
He told us about his pain in his music and his writing, not for pity, but so that we could all benefit from seeing him do amazing things in spite of, not crumble because of! If he could do it, so can we! I don’t see these things as reasons to feel sorry for him, I see it as a reason to be proud of him. I am not the #1 fan (we all think we’re #1, right?) of a tragic hero…. I am the #1 fan of a triumphant superhero. MJ is the poster boy for all underdogs. It doesn’t matter how jacked up your family is, what color you are, how shy you are, or how “weird” people think you are… you can do it! Whatever “it” may be.
If I offended you with my point of view, I truly hope that by the end of this blog, you understand where I am coming from. As a “FanFamily” member, I consider MJ fans as my “people” and there is an undeniable bond that we share through the music and impact Michael made. All I am asking is for you to remember that MJ was a WINNER. Always. He went through his own unique trials, but God never left him. He knew this, and we all should too.
As a matter of fact, the real victims are the ones who are still making those ignorant comments about MJ on social media…. They obviously missed out on the magic. And THAT is very sad indeed.
Thank You For Rocking With Me, Loves!
Y. M.Fourney