Story by Christopher Patrick Nelson
Forget the bad rumors when you think of the good ones. Muhammad Michael Jackson has been in the tabloids over the years for many reasons. Some said he slept in an iron lung. One rag had him bleaching his skin, as was later confirmed to be true. As a joke , he even put one out himself that said he bought the Elephant Man's skeleton. And then there were those accusations of molesting children, which prime target Macaulay Culkin said were ridiculous under oath. (He has been friends with the Gloved One since he was a cute ten-year –old in the Home Alone trilogy of movies.) I don't know if any of those rumors were true. However, the man has been in the Arabian Peninsula for some time, and is reported to have said, “Islam is the solution to all my problems.†Since that boast about being the King of Pop was true, what with the single best-selling album of all time, surviving disco's downfall, and a dance-troupe size group of imitators under his belt, this could God-willing mean only one thing: the Album of Michael Jackson's Career.
Am I being too quick to put the entertainment –desires of the public and myself above the obvious moral concerns? No, and as a Muslim, let me tell you why. My official position is that I don't know if the courts that twice ruled Brother Michael innocent were correct. But, Islam, like all other religions, has the concept of redemption. Whatever the sins of Muhammad Michael Jackson were, he was washed clean in the love of Allah.
Forgiveness is all well and good, but if we were to assume Jackson to be some pervert, what is to prevent him from slipping back into evil ways? Well, Islam involves what we call Shari'a. This code of behavior guides everything from bedroom to bathroom, and modern Islamic scholars have extended the traditional ban of men being alone with unmarried women to adults with unrelated children. What I have noticed as a convert is that Islam has an extremely normalizing influence on its adherents. What worked for former-bisexual –turned-Jehovah's Witness Prince can work for a manly Muhammad Jackson. SHAMONE! Furthermore, since the Muslims strain out what doesn't work and keep what does, the joy of spirituality could be a big inspiration for Mr. Jackson. Unlike a lot of pop stars, he writes his songs much of the time, so he would know how to make it funky. This is when we, the record-buying public, come in.
In Qatar, his current home , I'd guess Muhammad Michael Joseph Jackson is not harassed by photographers like clouds of gnats. He is probably a welcome face at his mosque, but it's not the Second Coming of Prophet Jesus the Christ or anything. (May Allah grant him peace.) Jackson probably feels more of normal, healthy connection with people in his neighborhood than he has in years , or even decades. So, God-willing, he probably won't feel impelled to write sort-of hits like “Leave Me Alone,†and like the Beatles of late-60's London, he can just work on being creative. I was in first grade when he conquered MTV in 1983, and I haven't forgotten kids competing over how many times they'd seen the Thriller video , or Eddie Van Halen's guitar solo on Beat It . Praise God. Billie Jean , if you really listen to the lyrics, is not just anti-promiscuity, but anti-temptation. Before the kind of gangsta s he rejected in the Bad video-epic took over, there were all these young black kids making their own white glove s. Christians say the Second Coming of Prophet Jesus the Christ will be more glorious than the First. (May Allah grant him peace. ) But what if there were a Second Coming of Michael Jackson? G'ON! HE-HE!
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